Disclaimer: by “blurb” I mean anything in the “description” field of a book on Goodreads.
1) Don’t tell me things I can and will judge for myself. Don’t waste my time with highly unreliable information.
This beautifully-written thriller will grip you from its very first page.
A stunning, new novel by master storyteller Philip Reeve.
In a powerful narrative of exceptional fascination, Brodeck's Report explores the very limits of humanity*.*To infinity and beyond! Ha-ha, ha… sorry, back to business.
2) Don’t be pretentiously dramatic and vague.
Only the ultimate sacrifice will give this love an ending.
she'll find the Undying King--and answer his secrets with her own...
If the Twelve are to fall, one of those united to vanquish them will have to pay the ultimate price.These are the first three examples I found. Looking at 1 and 3, I should probably add: “Don’t be cliche”?
Also, 1 I just do not get. You wanna sacrifice smth to END your love??? Fuck. New tip: “Be sensible”.
3) Get to the point, don’t waste space (I’ll read all your flowery shit in the book).
Everyone said the Graces were witches.Ok, so basically you could have just said “One day I decided to befriend a family of witches” and been done with it.
They moved through the corridors like sleek fish, ripples in their wake. Stares followed their backs and their hair.
They had friends, but they were just distractions. They were waiting for someone different.
All I had to do was show them that person was me.
Like everyone else in her town, River is obsessed with the Graces, attracted by their glamour and apparent ability to weave magic. But are they really what they seem? And are they more dangerous than they let on?
Also, WUT is with that fish simile? Are fish known to move through corridors? What ripples can you make in the air? Are not all fish sleek? Why not say “It seemed like they glided rather than walked, radiating/giving off an aura of [a cool and appropriate word]”? And why would ppl stare at their hair? Blurb, you’re being fucking vague again.
4) Make the blurb monolingual. Yeah, one GR member went all avant-garde and started us off with a paragraph in german, then continued in english. And thus, the title of this post is officially justified.
5) Proofread the blurb. Or don’t, because this is comedy gold:
he will rule the world with knowledge raped from the dead.
Well well, so well spotted problems. Enjoyed reading your comments. Especially about the cliches. Whole idea of sacrifice comes from this uncontrollably romantic young souls, who wanders to find such undying forever and ever kind of love. Sometimes when they are beautifully written I appreciate the effort but most of the time it is another dull Titanic story. Anyways I will shut up here.
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks. My very first comment, I'll cherish it forever! Seriously though, I appreciate your feedback.
DeleteI like reading romance, but sometimes, after the last page, I think "realistically, they'll break up in a month to a year". And I'm very selfish, so I don't enjoy reading about heartbreaking sacrifice. I want happy feels.
Also, don't be afraid to say whatever. Free speech rules! Despite everything I actually like talking to ppl.